Avril Fuller

After successfully attracting funding from Pepsi, the famous Red Arrows will be painted Blue.

A leaked consultation document suggests that the Royal Navy will now order a third Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier in response to a resurgent Russia, the vessel will be named HMS Princess Diana

The agreement, effective from the start of the upcoming month, will see London rejoin the EU for a period of six months.

"We are confident that this magnificent display of military might will not only dazzle the natives."

The Ministry of Defence has announced that the Royal Navy's HMS Bulwark will be temporarily repurposed for ferry duties.

In a groundbreaking agreement, the UK and Scottish Governments unveiled a plan for the Govan area of Glasgow to become English territory for a number of years, designating it as an official part of England, to help secure warship building on the River Clyde.

It has emerged this morning that work promised to Scotland will instead go to Ruritania after Zenda Industries won a contract to build frigates.

A British Army Reserve base in Glasgow will be handed over to European Union peacekeepers to assist the Scottish Government.

"The F-35B is far more capable than the Harrier and using them in combat would be incredibly unfair and a give a bad impression the new, fairer Global Britain".

The entire Voyager fleet will be re-engined and adapted for carrier onboard delivery work.