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It has emerged this morning that work promised to Scotland will instead go to Ruritania after Zenda Industries won a contract to build frigates.
The UK government has announced plans to stage a colossal military parade through the heart of Glasgow, featuring controversial Trident nuclear missiles, in an effort to drum up support for the union.
In a groundbreaking agreement, the UK and Scottish Governments unveiled a plan for the Govan area of Glasgow to become English territory, designating it as an official part of England, to ensure warship building continues should Scotland decide to leave the UK.
The decision to deploy HMS Bulwark has been met with mixed reactions, some argue that the use of a military vessel for civilian purposes is an inappropriate allocation of resources.
A leaked consultation document suggests that the Royal Navy will now order a third Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier in response to a resurgent Russia, the vessel will be named HMS Princess Diana
After successfully attracting funding from Pepsi, the famous Red Arrows are to be painted Blue.