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A heavily armed Royal Navy vessel that’s been drydocked in Portsmouth for an extended period is at the centre of a scandal this morning as it’s found the vessel has no engine.

If you’re reading this please check the date above a this was an April Fools Day article and as such, is nonsense.

The vessel, bristling with over 100 guns, has been drydocked in Portsmouth for some time. Now, with no engine, there are fears she may never sail again.

We understand that the Admiralty Board consider the vessel too old to be fitted with engines at this stage especially as the vessel is now in too great a state of disrepair.

The UK Defence Journal has learned that plans were in place to have the vessel serve as a floating depot and as a prison ship.

The vessel has been the flagship of the First Sea Lord since October 2012. Prior to this, she was the flagship of the Second Sea Lord. The current and 101st commanding officer is Lieutenant Commander Brian Smith Royal Navy, who assumed command in May 2015.

It was also reported at the time that the vessels foretopsail was severely damaged during the Battle of Trafalgar, perforated by upwards of 90 cannonballs and other projectiles. It was replaced after the battle, but was preserved and eventually displayed in the Royal Naval Museum.

32 COMMENTS

      • It does seem a real story, official UK government press release plus all it’s all over the German press about the the UK is finally buying panzers.

        Best vehicle available but likely to be expensive so hope we can get the right quantity.

        • I call bullshit on the Boxer story. Firstly, that paint job, it’s only to impress the Daily Mail readers. Secondly those soldiers in the vid are not wearing MTP and are carrying G36s. Thirdly “British by Birth”, not for something build in the Ruhr it’s not!

          • That paintjob was from a boxer exhibited in the UK a while back trying to secure the deal.

            The UK, Netherlands and Germany designed Boxer. The UK pulled out in 2003 I think?

            I say Boxer for the British Army is likely.

  1. Yes, it’s all hotting up! The Admalrity has confirmed that plans to recommission HMS Victory are being seriously considered. A MOD spokesperson adds, ‘By clearing the aft deck on HMS Victory, we believe our new F35b could operate from her deck!’

    The Victory has an all wooden structure and therefore can be repaired wherever she operates, where there are trees, apart from the Poles and Shetland, so is an extremely flexible vessel. Reports of her taking on water around the propellor are incorrect, that applies to another vessel.
    If the MOD do go ahead with recommissioning the Victory, she may well be deployed to the South China Seas.

  2. Sail is the answer, no costs for natural power but the Admiralty refuse to see it. Stuck in the past of oar driven Galleys they sit happily to contemplate a future Navy which costs nothing. as for armament they must address the possibility of a shortage of cannon Balls due the takeover of GKN by Melrose who will doubtless sell of this vital asset to to a Metal dealer in Argentina . Hey Ho whats new

  3. I read that in order to achieve modern stealth requirements the ship’s masts would have to be shrouded with dazzle paint but apparently there is no funnel to cause any problem which is good. There was a suggestion that the 100 or more holes in her side would have to be plastered over but MOD engineers have today confirmed that cruise will be installed at a cost of five billion pounds.
    I’ve had a word with Peder and he thinks this is the way forward for a sad little country like us who have no sense of humour!

  4. To be honest, we Yanks have the US Navy Ship USS Constitution ready in Boston, in case British Sailors from their wooden ship desire to cross the ocean and serve on another wooden ship. Benefits are, it won’t attract magnetic mines, and just the site of it sailing with all sails up and waving, may confuse Russian submarines,long enough for the Yank/Brit crew to call in allied air support.

  5. The picture is of QE so presumably that would s the ship affected. The obvious explanation is that all the seawater that got in through the massive, catastrophic, biggest ever seen in naval history leak through the shaft seal that they found during the sea trials has dissolved away the engine.

  6. Meanwhile, an engineering audit of HMS Queen Elizabeth has discovered that the propshaft doesn’t reach all the way from the propeller to the main gas turbines. No-one has yet come forward to take responsibility for this oversight.

  7. Why is everyone surprised by this – exactly one year ago today the engine was removed after failing exhaust emission testing; back then it was decided that a battery of 100 leg powered cycles would be used in it’s place. Today the Navy announced that they are still searching for 100 able seamen.

  8. The royal navy is to invest £2billion on a new fleet of environmentaly friendly ships of Greek design the trireme 2000 programme will build a hundred ships in total carry a crew of 300personnel per ship ,new modular weapons systems to be added ,four pallets of bricks ,two catapults forward two aft ,one port one starboard giving a 360 degree protection,no guns to be carried not PC anymore ,all.crew will be trained in the use of sticks in a fight and ship boarding parties will be issued with the new light weight handbag as personal protection,

    • Well the Romans used Corvus for ship boarding to help defeat Carthage so make sure this is installed and not FFBNW.

  9. This country couldn’t fight its way out of a paper bag!

    I know this is an April fool but we need escort ships to accompany what carriers we have… 6 destroyers and 12 frigates is not a navy.. just a vanity project

  10. HMG beats all other Aprils fool jokers: Selling off 2 carriers & scrapping Endurance led to the Falklands war, UK can make do with 19 escorts(now 17 effectively), scrapping Nimrod with no replacement, scrapping the Harrier force so no strike/ air defence aircraft for its carriers at the time, scrapping Harpoon missiles years before any replacements ready(thankfully reconsidered)… etc.

  11. May I suggest that HMS warrior would be a better alternative to Victory as her armament is more up to date.

  12. I thought the flagship was an 18 craft helicopter carrier HMS Ocean 22,000 tons sold to Brazil for £84,000,000 ?
    It was due to leave Plymouth on the week beginning 12/3/2018

  13. Frank62 is right- HMG are the best and most professional Fools out there, they consistently deliver on their potential to utterly flummox and confuse anyone and everyone by sheer incompetence and a lack of strategic coherence.

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