In one of the more unusual Freedom of Information requests recently read by myself and certainly fielded by the Ministry of Defence Police, it has been revealed that there were zero assault incidents reported to have occurred inside Nando’s restaurants for the calendar years 2021 and 2022.

For readers who may have been on the edge of their seats, you’ll be relieved to know that Nando’s appears to be a safe haven—at least from the Ministry of Defence Police’s point of view.

The Ministry provided a detailed breakdown in response to the odd request, which specifically inquired about various types of assault, including those with intent to cause serious harm and racially or religiously aggravated assaults.

The Ministry stated, “5D – Assault with intent to cause serious harm – 0; 8N – Assault with injury – 0; BP – Racially or religiously aggravated assault with injury – 0; 105A – Assault without injury – 0; 105B – Racially or religiously aggravated assault without injury – 0.

The information request also sought data on the three Nando’s locations with the most alleged or recorded assault offences for those years. In keeping with the theme, the Ministry responded with “No information held.

The request additionally asked for details on the investigation summaries and modus operandi for the five most recent cases for the top three Nando’s locations. The Ministry’s answer remained consistent, stating “No information held.

I hope this ground-breaking journalism has brightened your day.

George Allison
George has a degree in Cyber Security from Glasgow Caledonian University and has a keen interest in naval and cyber security matters and has appeared on national radio and television to discuss current events. George is on Twitter at @geoallison

21 COMMENTS

  1. The grammar is sus but MoD plod, might have been more apt.

    Difficult one.

    Now, about creating a national armed police force, incorporating the service police, MoD plod, CNC and BTP.

    Now this would save money and allow a universal force to deliver policing and protection to the UK.

    Thoughts?

    • Interesting thought.
      You’d need to split bits up still and you’d not be able to cross post in all areas?

      RN Police, RAF Police, RMP of course all deploy, while the RAF Police also help guard RAF Stations in the UK, where the other two, as far as I’m aware, do not.

      The CNC do not I think have a deployment liability, neither do most of the MDP, who also have the marine elements so different skill sets and of course the security cleared aspects the others bar the military and CNC ones lack.
      Most of the BTP are unarmed, and the rest of the police firearms units, from local force APUs, CTFOs and the Mets Firearms Command would still be out side such a force, unless you include them too?

      • CNC deployed to Japan on the Fisher boats

        MoD plod deployed on Herrick iirc.

        I’ll ask the q. Re firearms training for BTP, I understand at the moment, members are trained as a QRF.

        • Yes, I thought Id read somewhere a small number of MDP deployed, that’s why I said “most of the MDP”

          No idea about Fisher boats?

          I work with several ex BTP who are now signallers, so I’ll ask later regards QRF!

          They are unarmed when responding to rail incidents, though there are those who appear when big events are on at London Terminus stations like Waterloo who are.

          • In 2003 MDP had an agreement with FCDO for up to 100 officers to deploy in support of UK interests overseas, they were at the time the countries go to force for that type of policing. I know officers who deployed to Afghan, Iraq, Kosovo and Georgia. As for a national police force, it almost happened and would have seen various forces merge into a National Infrastructure Police. The initial plan was too ambitious and included MDP, CNC, BTP, airports and roads policing (motorways). The airport and roads bit was quickly dropped and the next iteration would have been MDP and CNC merge with BTP possibly following. It would have happened if not for Brexit, the legal team responsible were taken off the project and it was placed on hold, it was literally a few months away from happening.

    • I actually like the local Police idea but I do see the need for some National Policing as some counties are ridiculously small.
      So how about more mergers into Scotland & NI, Wales & South West, South coast upto M4, South East and London, Midlands, East Anglia and Lincs, Yorkshire and North East, Lancashire and North West.
      And scrap the Police Politicians entirely but train all Police in one place.

  2. That’s SPICY information George
    It’s FLAMING good news to know our service personnel, who aren’t CHICKENS, are safe in NANDOS.

  3. This sounds bizarre but I would speculate the request came from Nando’s themselves when considering whether they need to upgrade their security measures. Just a thought . . .

  4. I wonder if MInistry of Defence Police can charge the person who requested this with wasting Police Time and / or send them the bill ?

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