As part of an effort to boost the Scottish economy, the UK Government have announced that a new nuclear weapons storage facility will open in the heart of Glasgow.

The Tories have described this as a “last ditch effort to save the union”.

MoD Spokesman Lee Iyar said:

“Glasgow was chosen as it’s already used to being near nuclear weapons and any accidents would, to be honest, improve the look of the city.”

This comes after the announcement that the UK is overturning a previous pledge to reduce the size of its nuclear weapons stockpile to 180 warheads by the mid-2020s, lifting the cap instead to as many as 260.

The 100-page Integrated Review document sets out the UK’s national security and foreign policy approach. The following is an excerpt from the document.

“The fundamental purpose of our nuclear weapons is to preserve peace, prevent coercion
and deter aggression. A minimum, credible, independent nuclear deterrent, assigned
to the defence of NATO, remains essential in order to guarantee our security and that
of our Allies. In 2010 the Government stated an intent to reduce our overall nuclear warhead stockpile ceiling from not more than 225 to not more than 180 by the mid-2020s. However, in recognition of the evolving security environment, including the developing range of technological and doctrinal threats, this is no longer possible, and the UK will move to an overall nuclear weapon stockpile of no more than 260 warheads.

To ensure that our deterrent is not vulnerable to pre-emptive action by potential
adversaries, we will maintain our four submarines so that at least one will always be on a
Continuous At Sea Deterrent patrol. Our submarines on patrol are at several days’ notice
to fire and, since 1994, we do not target our missiles at any state. We remain committed
to maintaining the minimum destructive power needed to guarantee that the UK’s nuclear
deterrent remains credible and effective against the full range of state nuclear threats
from any direction.

Congraulations and thank you for reading the whole article, this is just an April Fools Day joke. The article above is not true and if anyone is sharing this after the 1st of April, please do remind them of that fact. The purpose of this article, aside from our usual April Fools day joke, is to make the point that reading beyond the headline should be the norm every day, not just on the 1st of April. There’s a large volume of misinformation online, make sure you don’t add to it by sharing articles without reading them. Finally, be careful of the person sharing this article after the 1st of April as they very clearly don’t read what they share.

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Chris
Chris
2 months ago

Great idea…. If it ever had an accident you would never know 🙂

cazS
cazS
2 months ago
Reply to  Chris

I know who you are! lol

Daniele Mandelli
Daniele Mandelli
2 months ago

Bigger LOL

Jack
Jack
2 months ago

The facility will be based in Nicola Surgeon’s constituency. Well she’s done nothing for it.

Nate m
Nate m
2 months ago

“Glasgow was chosen as it’s already used to being near nuclear weapons and any accidents would, to be honest, improve the look of the city.” ya not sure how that’s ment to ease the pressure.

PaulW
PaulW
2 months ago

Actually that’s a very interesting idea that’s worth some further consultation. Nobody would ever think of looking there.

Rob N
Rob N
2 months ago

I wonder if Trident has a targeting package for the SNP. I am sure their next step will be to join the Russian Federation. After all anything is better then being in a Union with the English. It is strange that the SMP yells about independence for Scotland but in the next minute wants to loose that independence to the less democratic and authoritarian EU. I hope Nicola stays in power she is doing more for the Unionist cause than the independence one. Long may Queen Nichola reign! If the SNP did have nukes they would probably use them on… Read more »

Benjamin Rule
Benjamin Rule
2 months ago

I understand that given the repeated fire damage at Glasgow School of Art a decision has been taken to completely demolish the building. The space will be used for the nuclear storage facility.

captain p wash
captain p wash
2 months ago

I think Joe Kerr talks a lot of sense.

Josie Bridle
Josie Bridle
2 months ago

April fool