The Royal Air Force has been placed on high alert for the next week in order to track a special cargo flight from the Arctic region.

The aircraft is also said to be capable of intelligence gathering, with the ability to determine the behavioural status of British citizens, classifying them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

The annual decision to place the Royal Air Force on high alert was prompted by an incident many year agos in which British fighter aircraft escorted an unregistered aircraft (flying from the Arctic region) over the UK’s major cities, the pilot of the craft was said to be under the influence of alcohol and very “festive”, this is especially dangerous due to the sheer volume of cargo the aircraft was carrying. This is expected to happen again in the coming weeks.

Other commentators have noted that these flights are unusual, questioning where the cargo comes from as the Arctic region is reported to be elf sufficient.

An MoD spokesman had this to say:

“Interception is part of what the QRA force do. We have to identify and confirm who or what is flying through our airspace or approaching our airspace and since the craft appears at the same time each year, we have a fairly good idea who will be flying but we don’t take any chances.”

The Ministry of Defence have previously used satellites with infra-red sensors to track the aircraft, it is understood that the heat from an animals red nose was clearly visible and it was at this point RAF aircraft began escorting the bright red aircraft over every British city, town and village.

The owner of the aircraft described the incident as “a sleigh’t misunderstanding”. More on this as it develops.

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lee

ho ho ho

Daniele Mandelli

Lol. Even without reading the article you didn’t get me this time!!

Lee1

We need to shoot it down (Obviously once it has left the UK that is…)

Ian Smith

Hope the ufo Code name “red nose” flies over ours.

julian1

I needed a few seconds as amongst the Black Sea and Baltic activity it was a plausible headline….just for a few seconds….honest gov

Steven

Even the best jokes get boring when repeat them all the time, how about a report of the chemical/gas attack that was carried out by anti-Assad terrorists in Syria that resulted in a large number of casualties ?

Lee1

Be quiet…

Steven

Another great wit

Lee1

Was not meant to be funny… Just to the point. I think it did that quite well.

captain P Wash.

Year after Year same old.

Lee1

I know, you would think it was an annual festival or something!

Chris

I still believe that if a person even talks about Christmas before the 1st December then they should be receiving a Paveway bomb through the front window asap.

Cam Hunter

I hope they got enough missiles to take the big fat intruder out! And those viscous self centred shit on the roof animals he employs!!!

John West

Its not even December yet!

hf

It seems to start in September now 🙁

Trevor G

I can recommend reindeer steak, makes an excellent festive meal….

Mr Bell

Second that.
I had some in Finland a while ago. Very yummy, meaty and succulent. If you get a chance to eat reindeer do not turn your nose up at it.

Airborne

Put an ASRAAM up his ass and save me a bloody fortune every year!

David E Flandry

He won’t be near Britain, NORAD spots him every year over NA. Ho, ho, ho.

dadsarmy

I don’t believe it, I got caught – again.

Barry Larking

Greenland and Lapland might come to blows over this. Troubling times.

David E Flandry

And the Icelandic Empire may get involved. Trouble!

Chris Baker

ho ho ho very funny

ANDREW JOHN WILDE

Will the RAF shoot it down if it attempts to land on a Royal Navy aircraft carrier or will the want to purchase the A version to prevent that event ever occurring !!!!!

“I Am flying over Lapland.
I may be gone some time.”

David E Flandry

The aircraft seems to have an unusual non-aerodynamic design, leading experts to conclude it must have an advanced computer to maintain stability or perhaps an unusual propulsion system.

Meiron X

Late April Fools are About, So Watch Out!! Ha, Ha, Ha Ha!!
Seems too Much brandy to drink!!
So Please don’t drink And Drive!!

Pete

All I want for Xmas is spear 3, NSM, Type 31, ashm next gen on type 45, wildcat with dara link and dipping sonar and 2 more astute.

Have been nice

Mr Bell

Pete I would add that I have asked Santa for mk41 vls on type 45s, 6 more Poseidon MPAs and at least another 64 F35Bs. Otherwise your chrimbo list is just peachy mate
Ho ho ho happy Christmas.
I bet scrouges May and Spreadsheet Phill will bah humbug my wishes.
This is all too easy

Andrew

Keep your Mince Pies pealed, Snowbody needs to be made a Turkey over defence of our country esp if it means we get Sleighed in a war where Brussels are Cooking, the east is turning to Custard and the US put the Gas on the EU Fairies and all the while the UK is leaving the Cooked Goose of the EU. I just hope the Snow doesnt hinder Flt Cmdr Elv as he escorts the Red bogey, the way these things happen he’ll be flying through Chimneys next just to keep up. Nobody likes Eggnogg on their faces….but the RAF… Read more »

Frank62

Nurse, he’s out of bed again!

dadsarmy

I suspect the sonar might be confused by all those jingle bells though when it goes suboceanic.

Merry humbug!

David Gould

Looks like Santa has lost some dickhead’s quad copters over Gatwick, it’s causing mayhem .