A leaked consultation document appears to suggest that the Royal Navy will now order a third Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier in response to a resurgent Russia.

Sources in the MoD stress that the new ship, HMS Princess Diana, will incorporate lessons learned in the design and build stages of the first two vessels of the class.

In light of this development, we’ve spoken to experts involved with the planning consultation. Bryan Robertson, an analyst at defence think tank DMCS (Daily Mail Comment Section), had this to say:

“Waste of funds & Human Life! One correctly placed Smart-Bomb will see Today’s heap of steel turn into Tomorrows heap of Scrap! H.M.S. Hood took the Ultimate Killing Shell way back in WW2 DESPITE AIRCRAFT; No Smart-Bombs then, and the Germans sent the Flagship of the Royal Navy to the bottom, no problem! What Government ‘FOOL’ proposed this latest Folly? Who is paying him? WE ARE. Such vast vessels have no place in modern times. Time for the OLD Timers to Grow UP!! Have they not heard of the Internet?”

The first two vessels will be completed in a Short Take-Off and Vertical Landing configuration, deploying the Lockheed Martin F-35B, while the third will feature six catapults and deploy “modern Harriers or something, or naval Typhoon”.

The third vessel will be 480 metres long and have an air group of up to infinity-hundred aircraft. The projected cost of the programme including the third ship is now £187.6 billion.

Excerpts from the leaked consultation document are extremely detailed in just what needs to be changed for the third vessel to be a “proper carrier”. Local park based defence analyst, Michael Greene, has recommended the following:

“The MORONS at the government should order aircraft or we’ll end up with an AIRCRAFTLESS carrier.”

Other changes recommended by the experts consulted include stationing Trident missiles on the vessel, purchasing a fleet F-4 Phantoms, painting go faster stripes on the hull and additional crayon provision.

Congratulations and thank you for reading the whole article, this is just an April Fools Day joke. The article above is not true and if anyone is sharing this after the 1st of April, please do remind them of that fact. The purpose of this article, aside from our usual April Fools’ day joke, is to make the point that reading beyond the headline should be the norm every day, not just on the 1st of April.

There’s a large volume of misinformation online, make sure you don’t add to it by sharing articles without reading them. Finally, be careful of the person sharing this article after the 1st of April as they very clearly don’t read what they share.

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82 COMMENTS

  2. I had my doubts about this when I opened it.
    As soon as I saw “HMS Princess Diana” I knew exactly where this was going!

    • I was over the moon too just for a second but to be honest when I quickly realised what was happening I also thought there are so many things we need more than another carrier. (Some F-35’s for a start to replace Tornado in the RAF Strike role as was always the plan)

    • Oh no didn’t you see, the MOD announced that we will no longer be buying f35s instead they’ll be getting rowdy kids to lob paper planes off the ramp of them.

  8. King Charles would have been a bit irked by the naming of the aircraft carrier Princess Diana..that certainly would have made 3 in the marriage of the aircraft carriers!!

  10. In five years time some loon will quote this article and rant “where is the third carrier Scottish ship yards were promised?????”

  11. I read this after the Scottish independence one; if I had seen this first I certainly would have remembered. Such is my faith…

  12. Good we need a third aircraft carrier but need a royal naval with enough frigates and destroyers to back a carrier group up .

    • Are you living in the 50’s????? Drones sunk the Russians flagship, these dinosaurs are reefs in waiting

      • All April Fools stuff aside, Moskva was sunk by anti-ship missiles which have been around and in use for over 55 years.

        • Plus sending your Flagship, that was just about seaworthy, with half of the air defence systems not working, was asking for trouble!

      • Ships have always been sunk in war. You just need to protect them, especially capital ships, as best as you can, with layered defence – and destroy, decoy or deter the anti-ship weapons.

    • Ruritania ship building programme has led to a doubling of all RN warships orders. So another 8 type 26s, 5 more type 31s, 5 more type 32s and no less than 24 type 83s.
      So a 3rd carrier strike group shouldn’t be a problem

  18. It’s to be noted, like the previous two, this new ship is not at all related to Princess Diane, the late wife of King Charles, but as the MoD tell us it will be named after the third daughter of the King of Bohemia who briefly took the throne in 1747. Having been forced to flee upon her fathers defeat in the Silesian Wars it is rumoured she ran one of the first fish and chip shops in Deptford and became a darling of the people with her pithy Slavic folk songs celebrating the beer producing heritage of her homeland with as a result various pubs taking their name from her heritage. It is thought therefore it will be the perfect name for what will be a ship of the people in contrast to the previous two ships of the toffs.

  20. Considering the RN is one breakdown away from having no carriers at all, we are making light of the very fragile state the service is in. The only real saving grace atm is that the Russians are in a far worse state of affairs and that the Ukrainian conflict has reversed the very real risk of the band (NATO) breaking up pre invasion.

    But hey, April fools.

  21. HMS Hood wasn’t destroyed by a well placed German shell.. it was blown up by sparks from the guns traveling down to where the sailors were storing the ammunition charges. They did this to save time loading the next round.

  25. Brilliant! Made my day, I did smell a rat at the new name and the quoting of a defense experts by way of the comments section, the budget got me too!
    Fair play, that was a good un’ 🙌

  27. I did like the “order aircraft or we will have aircraftless carriers” bit, actually topical and close to the bone.

  28. I know this is April fools but a third aircraft carrier would be good imagine 3 aircraft carriers going on a world tour that would place UK as a super power! I mean they could just put the army on them use them as firefighters and put them on duty when ashore or going through narrow straights or even just like pot washers cleaners atleast then they would see some decent places in their career!

  29. THIS has some Bull shit in i
    this news ie there was never a officially a” Princess Diana “she was Diana Princess of Wales SO why would they name a ship with a wrong title?

    • Everybody called her Princes Diana.
      Seen a calander today?
      Our George Allison loves xmas & April fools day.

      • I know it was a FOOLS joke. But my Point is Officially as written on her grave stone and ANY Pubic monument or Place she Ever opened She was Never “Princess Diana” So a British Military ship would never be called that

  34. This development sounds a good step forward, a good idea would be to provision this carrier to be ready for, but not actually with aircraft saving billions of pounds at a stroke!

    • Maybe UK should stop give artillery to Ukraine, then there will not gone be threat from Russia. Maybe UK government should think about people who live in UK!

      • Hi. I’m not even sure what that means given the poor written English.
        It is no April Fool either…

  36. I’m glad it was an April Fools. The Russians haven’t exactly excelled in their invasion. Their economy is the same size as Spain. So at the moment, they aren’t a serious threat.

  39. They need two one for aircraft with slingshot and one for helicopters for attack, sub detection, troop carriers .

  42. Actually a third one, crewed with Australian and New Zealand naval personal along with RN, for China seas operations, wouldn’t be a bad idea….even if an April fools joke

    • Like this idea. Thought something similar with a co-shared 🇦🇺 🇳🇿 squadron of F-18s to give NZ a “drop in” fighter airforce” if ever needed. F-35s for NZ might be pushing it.

    • You mean Fake carriers are vulnerable to Fake Missiles LOL I bet you it is impossible for any Hypersonic missile will ever sink HMS Princess Diana

  47. It was only when I got to the cost that I realised this was an April Fool, and that’s knowing that the two carriers have only 24 F35s between them, (optimistically, that’s 18 operational aircraft), not enough type 45 working destroyers, frigates or submarines to keep both safe simultaneously, and the absurd reasons we have two joke carriers and not one functioning one.

  48. F4 Phantoms? I think not. This is finally a chance to continue the TSR2 program. Stick that in your pipe, Mr Wilson…

  50. Even if true the very fact that the criticsm is issued from Bryan Robertson an alleged defence analyst does not negate what may be a costly over reaction for GB.
    IMO 2 of our our aircraft carriers will be enough of a fleet air arm facility in combination with other Nato nations to deter any possible threat, as that is all it will be, as neither the CCP nor Russia would dare to confront such an armada, especially not the latter with its smoking wreck of their only carrier.

  51. Just for a second… only for a second but it was wen I read it was to be named HMS Princess Diana that niggling feeling I had since seeing the title started blaring like a fire alarm and I quickly came to my senses ha ha ha ha ha very good….

  53. Lucky Will be the R.N. if finally one of the 2 Carriers is not finally sold to India or Brazil for example in the light of a new defence “cuts” review.

  54. it’s a nonsense spending extortionate amounts of money on what is a single naval unit, i’ve heard 2 3 even 4 hundred Billion dollars?, with that kind of outlay what’s to stop another nation using ship to ship missile to sink it? you gain a carrier for the cost of a tactical missile, and imagine what that would do to morale, Carriers have their tactical useage, but you also have to be able to afford to lose these assets, otherwise, well pun indended i guess, you’re playing Russian roulette

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