A leaked consultation document appears to suggest that the Royal Navy will now order a third Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier in response to a resurgent Russia.

Sources in the MoD stress that the new ship, HMS Princess Diana, will incorporate lessons learned in the design and build stages of the first two vessels of the class.

In light of this development, we’ve spoken to experts involved with the planning consultation. Bryan Robertson, an analyst at defence think tank DMCS (Daily Mail Comment Section), had this to say:

“Waste of funds & Human Life! One correctly placed Smart-Bomb will see Today’s heap of steel turn into Tomorrows heap of Scrap! H.M.S. Hood took the Ultimate Killing Shell way back in WW2 DESPITE AIRCRAFT; No Smart-Bombs then, and the Germans sent the Flagship of the Royal Navy to the bottom, no problem! What Government ‘FOOL’ proposed this latest Folly? Who is paying him? WE ARE. Such vast vessels have no place in modern times. Time for the OLD Timers to Grow UP!! Have they not heard of the Internet?”

The first two vessels will be completed in a Short Take-Off and Vertical Landing configuration, deploying the Lockheed Martin F-35B, while the third will feature six catapults and deploy “modern Harriers or something, or naval Typhoon”.

The third vessel will be 480 metres long and have an air group of up to infinity-hundred aircraft. The projected cost of the programme including the third ship is now £187.6 billion.

Excerpts from the leaked consultation document are extremely detailed in just what needs to be changed for the third vessel to be a “proper carrier”. Local park based defence analyst, Michael Greene, has recommended the following:

“The MORONS at the government should order aircraft or we’ll end up with an AIRCRAFTLESS carrier.”

Other changes recommended by the experts consulted include stationing Trident missiles on the vessel, purchasing a fleet F-4 Phantoms, painting go faster stripes on the hull and additional crayon provision.


Congratulations, and thank you for reading the whole article; this is just an April Fools Day joke. The article above is not true, and if anyone is sharing it after April 1st, please remind them of that fact.

The purpose of this article, aside from our usual April Fool’s Day joke, is to make the point that reading beyond the headline should be the norm every day, not just on the 1st of April. There’s a large volume of misinformation online. Make sure you don’t add to it by sharing articles without reading them. Finally, be careful of the person sharing this article after the 1st of April as they very clearly don’t read what they share.

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David
David
5 days ago

We don’t have enough escorts, we will have to ask Luxembourg to lend us some of their frigates

Jon
Jon
4 days ago
Reply to  David

And Russia can provide the submarines.

pete
pete
4 days ago
Reply to  Jon

lend their tug boat

Bob
Bob
2 days ago
Reply to  pete

Can Russia provide Escorts?

lonpfrb
lonpfrb
1 day ago
Reply to  Bob

Navel Escorts not Naval Escorts.

Michael Hannah
Michael Hannah
5 days ago

Not a bad idea. However unfortunately it is an April fool.

El Padre
El Padre
5 days ago

So I know that ukdj always does a great 1 April story. I knew that when I logged on but even so for just a second I thought “Could it just maybe be true?” Love your work!

Daniele Mandelli
Daniele Mandelli
5 days ago

Had this one before. Try harder.

Jon
Jon
4 days ago

Quite a few are reruns, but good for a chuckle.

Cymbeline
Cymbeline
4 days ago

DM, Just found this post from your/our old favourite Russkie sparring partner ‘JOHNINMK’ this from a site BFG/BOAR/RAFG Locations message board. Posted in 2023 I assume this is his spiel to establish his legend as it were. Did he ever employ it here? My father was Wg Cdr C P Waddell, he was O/C Uedem from 1958 to 1961. He took my brother and I down the ‘hole’ as it was known.  We had a quarter on the base in Goch, Keppelner Strasse. Our neighbour was a Belgian Major. Can’t remember going to Laarbruch for a swim but did have… Read more »

Daniele Mandelli
Daniele Mandelli
4 days ago
Reply to  Cymbeline

Mate, yes, similar. I recall he outlined his Dads credentials in the RAF but prove his “Britishness” perhaps, but I don’t remember the exact details.

Cymbeline
Cymbeline
4 days ago

He’s still very active on the ‘Russian Defence Forum’ .

Jacko
Jacko
3 days ago
Reply to  Cymbeline

Just where he feels at home then😀

klonkie
klonkie
4 days ago

HDM – I might have fallen for this one if they said they were building a replacement for HMS Ocean! 😉

Daniele Mandelli
Daniele Mandelli
4 days ago
Reply to  klonkie

Hiya C. I was briefly intrigued by the LPD Scottish ferry one until I checked myself.

klonkie
klonkie
3 days ago

👌

lordtemplar
lordtemplar
5 days ago

if only 😉
but i do like the idea

Last edited 5 days ago by lordtemplar
Ralph
Ralph
5 days ago

Doh. Had me this one!

Last edited 5 days ago by Ralph
dc647
dc647
5 days ago

These April fools are getting a bit silly now for them to work they have to have some sensibility about them. Is this one they are going to be flying Harriers from.

Last edited 5 days ago by dc647
Ian
Ian
5 days ago

They can’t get the first two right so this is 100% April the 1st and the name of the ship 🤷🏻‍♂️she will alway be going down

Michael Hannah
Michael Hannah
4 days ago

There was an excellent April fools on YouTube. Ed Nash on the Mig 31 Firefox. If someone wants a tongue in cheek laugh.

DeeBee
DeeBee
4 days ago

This is getting ridiculous now!! Just stop it!!

Defence thoughts
Defence thoughts
4 days ago

NOT FUNNY. We need more carriers. Don’t toy with us like that.

Daniele Mandelli
Daniele Mandelli
4 days ago

I don’t think we do, actually. Even if this were true I’d prefer they spend the money that a single QEC would cost on SSN, RFA, escorts.

Defence thoughts
Defence thoughts
4 days ago

If one is taken out, then we cannot field a carrier force for 50% of the year. We are on the very edge of viability with the force. The replacement carriers, whenever they may be, must increase in number. Same for SSNs, drydocks, destroyers, etc.

The blunt fact of the matter is that we don’t have enough of everything. Eventually we will have to bite the bullet and increase numbers, no matter how much the Thin Pinstriped Liners scream “fantasy fleet”.

Daniele Mandelli
Daniele Mandelli
4 days ago

Indeed, we are lacking in assets in most areas, which is exactly why I wouldn’t spend billions on a third carrier if the money ever became available.
Any new money on the carrier side of things should go on the airgroup, not the ships themselves, except the CIWS and cannons one seems to lack.
I think TPL talks a great deal of sense, personally, he doesn’t scream anything no more than anyone else who makes a counter point when posters want a BAOR of 4 Divisions back with the current costs involved in even fielding one.

Defence thoughts
Defence thoughts
2 days ago

I’d agree if he hadn’t needled people endlessly about how wrong they are, and then not accepted he was wrong over the ship-based anti-ship missiles issue… or the T31 frigates. Some of his followers on that site (like Fruitman) are also very wrong about certain things invovling anti-ship missiles. They always get a pass for some reason. I followed him for a time, but I then realised it wasn’t quite as perfect as people were making out. I’m done feeling guilty just because he doesn’t like the twitter brigade. I’m tired of feeling that NavyLookout is completely wrong just because… Read more »

Ernest
Ernest
4 days ago

I fell for this reading – I thought WHY?? We have no escorts. Really only enough escorts for one. such as Lusty – It’s funny but no jokr.

Steve R
Steve R
3 days ago

No, we don’t.

We need more escorts – frigates, destroyers, SSNs, and F-35Bs, but not more carriers.

No point in additional carriers if we haven’t got enough aircraft to even operate off the current two.

Defence thoughts
Defence thoughts
2 days ago
Reply to  Steve R

My point is that in the long run (a century or so) we will need more of everything if tech remains similar (it did 1600-1850, so that future isn’t impossible).

(and yes, if tech changes then we need an increase in whatever equivalent platform there is then)

a british tom
a british tom
4 days ago

Don’t know about a 3rd carrier we could do with a helicopter assault ship though to replace ocean and Argos, along with a few more escorts.

klonkie
klonkie
4 days ago
Reply to  a british tom

“a helicopter assault ship” – absolutely!

S5107
S5107
4 days ago

This isn’t even funny, defence is in an absolute dire state and the situation is dangerous. Yet all I have seen today is defence media and official MOD accounts ! Making jokes about equipment procurement.

Joseph
Joseph
4 days ago

Shows you how pathetic we have become that this is considered an April fools joke. The only joke is how weak our military has become

Marcus FARRINGTON
Marcus FARRINGTON
4 days ago

Recycled joke from last year.April Fool supposed to be believable but a 3rd,aircraft and crew lite,mishap prone carrier??No thanks!!

Eric Carr
Eric Carr
4 days ago

We can hardly afford aircraft for the carriers we have. If i didn’t know any better i would say it’s another Boris Johnson vanity project.

Nick C
Nick C
4 days ago

For those of you who are fans of Tom Clancy’s first novel, there is a really good 1st April piece on the Naval News website. Or is it?

SailorBoy
SailorBoy
3 days ago
Reply to  Nick C

I saw that, made me laugh having watched The Hunt for Red October yesterday evening

AHG
AHG
4 days ago

A particularly tasteless joke.

George Allison
4 days ago
Reply to  AHG

Too soon?

Emanuel Galdes
Emanuel Galdes
4 days ago

Were it true, the first hurdle would have been manpowering it with the requisite presently non-existent seamen.

Che
Che
4 days ago

1st of April ha ha

Bill
Bill
4 days ago

Guffaw! That’s enough UKDJ; you’ve done enough today. What next, UK increases defence spending by 10% pa in real terms over the 10 years?? Gotcha!

Coll
Coll
4 days ago

The funny thing is when I have to look up information on the QE class, sometimes it offers the third carrier April Fool’s article from a few years ago as a source as part of the search engine summary. The AI is generating it as a factual source. lol

Garry lister
Garry lister
4 days ago

April 1st !!!

Alla01
Alla01
4 days ago

Will the propeller be rust proof!

Davy H
Davy H
4 days ago

“by Avril Fuller” …….. 😀

ZivBnd
ZivBnd
4 days ago

Sometimes I forget the day…

Mark Kennett
Mark Kennett
4 days ago

Oh what a chuckle. Go faster stripes indeed!

Daniele Mandelli
Daniele Mandelli
4 days ago

Lots of new posters appearing on this one pointing out how weak and crap the military is.
It’s almost as if they have an agenda?

Joey
Joey
3 days ago

Quit it with the April fools joke articles. One is enough

George Allison
3 days ago
Reply to  Joey

No, go away.

Lee Hammond
Lee Hammond
3 days ago

Morons. Stop being so stupid about them serious state of our woeful defence.

Steve R
Steve R
3 days ago
Reply to  Lee Hammond

Why?

If we don’t laugh, we cry.

Zen Blas
Zen Blas
3 days ago

How can a RN ship be called Princess Diana ?? When no such person has existed officially She was Diana Princess of Wales NEVER Princess Diana. Proves Bullshit

Steve R
Steve R
3 days ago
Reply to  Zen Blas

I think you might have missed what date this article was published.

Dan
Dan
2 days ago

Bad excuse for click bait. Poor show people.

George Allison
51 seconds ago
Reply to  Dan

Do you genuinely not understand how April Fools Day works?

Val
Val
1 day ago

Clearly April fools. But, over fifty years, with what the UK Gov will ask from just two ships and required refits, maintenance eff cost, would a third lengthened QE carrier not be a cheaper option over half a century with one being in ordinary for periods? Who’s the fool?