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This article was an April Fool’s Day joke.


 

A leaked consultation document from this years Strategic Defence and Security Review (SDSR) planning phase appears to suggest that the Royal Navy will now order a third Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier in response to a resurgent Russia.

HMS Queen Elizabeth in Rosyth

Sources in the MoD stress that the new ship, HMS Princess Diana, will incorporate lessons learned in the design and build stages of the first two vessels of the class. Queen Elizabeth was launched in 2014; Prince of Wales is due to join the fleet towards the end of the decade. After her launch and trials, Queen Elizabeth is due to be handed over to the Royal Navy in 2017.

In light of this development, we’ve spoken experts involved with the planning consultation. Bryan Robertson, analyst at defence think tank DMCS (Daily Mail Comment Section), had this to say:

“Waste of funds & Human Life! One correctly placed Smart-Bomb will see Today’s heap of steel turn into Tomorrows heap of Scrap! H.M.S. Hood took the Ultimate Killing Shell way back in WW2 DESPITE AIRCRAFT; No Smart-Bombs then, and the Germans sent the Flagship of the Royal Navy to the bottom, no problem! What Government ‘FOOL’ proposed this latest Folly? Who is paying him? WE ARE. Such vast vessels have no place in modern times. Time for the OLD Timers to Grow UP!! Have they not heard of the Internet?”

The first two vessels will be completed in a Short Take-Off and Vertical Landing configuration, deploying the Lockheed Martin F-35B, while the third will feature six catapults and deploy “modern Harriers or something, or naval Typhoon”.  The third vessel will be 480 metres long and have an air group of up to infinity-hundred aircraft. The projected cost of the programme including the third ship is now £187.6 billion.

Excerpts from the leaked consultation document are extremely detailed in just what needs to be changed for the third vessel to be a “proper carrier”. Asda based defence analyst, Michael Greene, has recommended the following:

“The MORONS at the government should order aircraft or we’ll end up with an AIRCRAFTLESS carrier.”

In response to this, the Ministry of Defence are now considering purchasing the F-35B Lightning and other aircraft types. Other changes recommended by the experts consulted include stationing Trident missiles on the vessel, purchasing a fleet F-4 Phantoms, painting go faster stripes on the hull and additional crayon provision.

54 COMMENTS

  1. plz tell me this is an april fools joke. need the 2 we got with full set of f35bs plus more escorts before thinking of a 3rd

  2. I heard from a very reputable source within the RAF yesterday that the MOD are looking at getting MD to build Harriers for them soon. It must be to equip the carriers.

  3. Why are we buying a load of troublesome aircraft from the USA when by now we could have designed and built our own? We have the brains in Britain maybe not now the production capacity? the other alternative is to build a through deck on these carriers and put fixed wing fighters and arrester gear on these new ships if they are supposedly bigger than the 1960’s Ark Royal carrier, which carried F4 Phantom Jets and Sea Vixen Jets? We would then be able to either convert existing British military aircraft or Buy off the shelf?

    • Because the Americans will have undoubtedly covered the majority of R&D costs and by buying a platform that they’re buying into on a much higher level, we can attain lower unit cost.

  4. if it wasn,t a joke it would have been in reality as we don,t have enough destroyers frigates to help protect them….i don,t know how they would protect 2 of them with what we have now…..once the worlds best navy cut down to nothing….talk about being a laughing stock of the world……

  5. Had the French not pulled out there WOULD have been a third carrier [PA2] to operate in conjunction with the British, which would have kept two at sea instead of one. Bad decision, with the Charles de Gaulle nuclear carrier being the sole French carrier and of somewhat dubious reliability, 20,000tons less displacement than the CVF’s.

  6. more t45’s won’t happen buying one of the j.f.k or constellation(both in reserve at bremerton,would be a massive saving, catobar fitted (cheaper proven aircraft) super hornet.preferably, buy back the harrier for the q.e and p.o.w make the time build of the t26 an open fastest build, gets the next contract.refit a bay class as a dedicated hospital ship, get a ‘mates rate’ on a few of the decommissioning ticondaroga cruisers in service, so technologically up to date aegis system and tomahawk capable although they have aging hulls. hey presto bigger fleet, lots cheaper quickly available refit instead of build from scratch. just need more sailors offer old salts a return ticket, theres plenty who would take up the offer!

    • more t45’s won’t happen buying one of the j.f.k or constellation(both in reserve at bremerton,would be a massive saving, catobar fitted (cheaper proven aircraft) super hornet.preferably, buy back the harrier for the q.e and p.o.w make the time build of the t26 an open fastest build, gets the next contract.refit a bay class as a dedicated hospital ship, get a ‘mates rate’ on a few of the decommissioning ticondaroga cruisers in service, so technologically up to date aegis system and tomahawk capable although they have aging hulls. hey presto bigger fleet, lots cheaper quickly available refit instead of build from scratch. just need more sailors offer old salts a return ticket, theres plenty who would take up the offer! drag bristol into a yard and rebuild it from the inside out recomission illustrious to replace ocean. simples!!!

      • Building these carriers in the UK serves more purpose than just equipping the Royal Navy. It brings back to the UK the ability to build very large modern warships. The actuall build of the Q clas has been a huge learning curve for UK shipyards and has required a new approach not least being the creation of literallt thousands on new jobs through advanced apprenticeships. THe building of the ASTUTE Class Fleet submarines require a similar new approach. THe main reason why that program slipped was that the necessary skills were allowed to withrer on the vine. BAE took over the probgram and created new skills. THe result is that with Rolls_Royce [the main nuclear engine contractors] is that there is now a new generation of shipbuilders and NUCLEAR ENGINEERS be4ing created. .

  7. Post Brexit Britain will need to be a maritime power as Britain always was in the past – no empire doesn’t mean no trade or no threat. Britain is an island, and will be great again, inspite of the naysayer out there

  8. I’d like a bet albeit a very small one that the eventual aircraft compliment on THREE ‘QE’ Class carriers [a third carrier is being seriously considered and from the lessons learnt by building the QE and the Princeof Wales will allow it to be brought in cheaper, quicker and better less than half the time and two thirds of the cost] will include the F35 Lightning 2 AND the J39 SAAB [NT] Sea Gripen [lookit up on google!] The Sea Gripen developement team has already been embedded in the UK’s Ministry of Defence. As BAE [British Aerospace and Egineering] was involved in the original developement of the J39 Gripen [which incidently was the first FOURTH/Fifth generation of fighter aircraft to become operational in the world – the USA and Russia doesn;’t have it all their own way!!]. Tech, reliability, initial costs [less than half and maybe just ONE THIRD of the cost of the J35 and importantly probaly the cheapest flying and maintainence cost of any modern fighter, seaborne or not flying costs and service specs make the Sea Gripen in most major ways an ideal lightweight seaborn fighter. . It has avionics at least on a par with the F35 and can take off from the slope [with in one version a full war load if ‘rocket’ assisted] without major mods except for a simple arrester gear. Whilst it does have reasonable ‘stealth’ properties it is not as stealthy as the F35. However and thios also applies to the F22 Raptor, when fully loaded much of that load is carried externally negating much of the stealth m[the F22 has EXTERNAL hard points to carry up to FIFTEEN THOUSAND POUNDS OF STORES. On the J39 plus side it can and has carried and fired [the first combat aircraft to do so] the UK/French ‘METEOR’ ram air to air missileand a compliment of up to four ‘Paveways’ or 8 ”Hellfire” type or the advanced BAE versions precision weapon.

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