British aircraft carrier to sail for secret mission

Britain’s high-readiness aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth will sail today for the Arctic Circle to support a secret multinational mission, it has been revealed.

The vessel is being deployed to act as an emergency landing option should “a classified cargo aircraft” require its usage. We earlier reported that Typhoon jets will be deploying to the Arctic for what is intended to be a secret escort mission involving a cargo aircraft. We believe these deployments are related.

Speaking to NATO Admiral Feliz Navidad, we were told that this special cargo mission is being supported by both NATO and Russian assets.

Other commentators have noted that that the loading of provisions would be unusual as the craft is rumoured to be elf-sufficient and shouldn’t need anything else.

The Royal Navy told us:

“Part of HMS Queen Elizabeth’s previous trials involved the fitting of STOVL (Sleigh Take Off and Vixen Landing) equipment allowing for this kind of aircraft to land and take-off from the carrier.”

We understand that the undisclosed cargo is to be revealed nationwide on the morning of the 25th of this month but only to good boys and girls.

According to Foreign Office spokesman Nicholas Cringle:

“We’ve received a request for assistance to support a multi-national air transport mission being launched from a currently undisclosed location within the Arctic Circle. As such, HMS Queen Elizabeth is being redirected to provide emergency provisions and a ‘back up’ option should the cargo aircraft involved need to land and refuel.”

This comes not long after it was announced that the Royal Air Force is on high alert this month in order to track cargo flights from the Arctic region.

RAF on high alert due to increased Arctic activity

An MoD spokesman had this to say:

“Interception is part of what the QRA force do. We have to identify and confirm who or what is flying through our airspace or approaching our airspace and since the craft appears at the same time each year, we have a fairly good idea who will be flying but we don’t take any chances.”

The Ministry of Defence used satellites with infra-red sensors to track the aircraft last time this happened, it is understood that the heat from an animals red nose was clearly visible and it was at this point RAF aircraft began escorting the bright red aircraft over every British city, town and village.

UPDATE: We understand the provisions HMS Queen Elizabeth has been loaded with include Brandy and small biscuits. Also, this is just a Christmas joked designed to brighten your day in case you haven’t yet realised.