Scottish Government to buy former British assault ship

In an unexpected move to address Scotland’s ongoing ferry crisis, the Scottish Government has announced plans to acquire the Royal Navy’s HMS Albion to operate on the Cambuslang to Clydebank route.

According to Angus McBoffin, the Scottish Government’s newly appointed Minister for Maritime and Creative Solutions, the vessel’s size and versatility make it a “perfect fit” for Scotland’s ferry network.

“We see HMS Albion as an ideal solution to address our current capacity challenges,” said McBoffin. “With her floodable dock and helicopter landing facilities, we can offer a seamless commute while providing passengers with the option to arrive at their destination by Chinook.”

Critics have questioned the suitability of a 176-metre warship as a passenger ferry, but McBoffin insisted it would provide “unparalleled reliability” on the route.

Spokesperson for the Royal Navy, Commander April Fullerton, confirmed the sale was a certainty. “We’re delighted HMS Albion will continue her proud service — albeit now transporting commuters instead of commandos.”

In a nod to Scottish culture, the ship will reportedly be renamed MV Beltane Breeze with a special onboard bar dedicated to serving cocktails and deep-fried delicacies. The service is expected to launch on 1st April 2026, subject to pier modifications at Cambuslang to accommodate the 18,500-tonne vessel.

Further details are expected later today.

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