As part of an effort to boost the Scottish economy, the UK Government have announced that a new nuclear missile launch silo will be opened in Cambuslang, Glasgow.

The Tories have described this as a “last ditch effort to save the union”.

MoD Spokesman Lee Iyar said:

“Glasgow was chosen as it’s already used to being near nuclear weapons and any accidents would, to be honest, improve the look of the city.”

This comes after the announcement that the UK is overturning a previous pledge to reduce the size of its nuclear weapons stockpile to 180 warheads by the mid-2020s, lifting the cap instead to as many as 260.

The 100-page Integrated Review document sets out the UK’s national security and foreign policy approach. The following is an excerpt from the document.

“The fundamental purpose of our nuclear weapons is to preserve peace, prevent coercion
and deter aggression. A minimum, credible, independent nuclear deterrent, assigned
to the defence of NATO, remains essential in order to guarantee our security and that
of our Allies. In 2010 the Government stated an intent to reduce our overall nuclear warhead stockpile ceiling from not more than 225 to not more than 180 by the mid-2020s. However, in recognition of the evolving security environment, including the developing range of technological and doctrinal threats, this is no longer possible, and the UK will move to an overall nuclear weapon stockpile of no more than 260 warheads.

To ensure that our deterrent is not vulnerable to pre-emptive action by potential
adversaries, we will maintain our four submarines so that at least one will always be on a
Continuous At Sea Deterrent patrol. Our submarines on patrol are at several days’ notice
to fire and, since 1994, we do not target our missiles at any state. We remain committed
to maintaining the minimum destructive power needed to guarantee that the UK’s nuclear
deterrent remains credible and effective against the full range of state nuclear threats
from any direction.

Congratulations and thank you for reading the whole article, this is just an April Fools Day joke. The article above is not true and if anyone is sharing this after the 1st of April, please do remind them of that fact. The purpose of this article, aside from our usual April Fools day joke, is to make the point that reading beyond the headline should be the norm every day, not just on the 1st of April.

There’s a large volume of misinformation online, make sure you don’t add to it by sharing articles without reading them. Finally, be careful of the person sharing this article after the 1st of April as they very clearly don’t read what they share.

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George has a degree in Cyber Security from Glasgow Caledonian University and has a keen interest in naval and cyber security matters and has appeared on national radio and television to discuss current events. George is on Twitter at @geoallison
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RobW
RobW
1 year ago

“Glasgow was chosen as it’s already used to being near nuclear weapons and any accidents would, to be honest, improve the look of the city.”

I can just imagine the SNP quoting that 😂

Aaron L
Aaron L
1 year ago
Reply to  RobW

This is 100% going to appear in some SNP Facebook groups for sure 😂

Tommo
Tommo
1 year ago

And about time too, at least glaswegians won’t have too worry about heating bills going through the Roof , or having too eat Reaybrek for a warm glow ,George

Bulkhead
Bulkhead
1 year ago

😎

Jon
Jon
1 year ago

To ensure that our deterrent is not vulnerable to pre-emptive action by potential adversaries, we will maintain our four submarines so that at least one will always be on a Continuous At Sea Deterrent patrol.

I’m glad this is only an April’s Fool joke as that kind of commitment would be very expensive.

George Parker
George Parker
1 year ago

A nice green glow will contrast nicely with the blue face paint, me thinks.

JC
JC
1 year ago

You are just adding fuel to the flames with this joke junk – some will believe this stuff AND all the fake news too with or without April fools disclaimers.- this is NOT helping anyone.

farouk
farouk
1 year ago
Reply to  JC

Ok,

Who uttered Beetlejuice three times?

Terence Patrick Hewett
Terence Patrick Hewett
1 year ago
Reply to  JC

Is that you Vladdi: draughty down that Kremlin bunker?

Phylyp
Phylyp
1 year ago

any accidents would, to be honest, improve the look of the city”

Not pulling any punches there, are you, George? 🙂

Jonathan
Jonathan
1 year ago

I did hear they were going to base some strategic bombers at Birmingham airport and base one of each of the nuclear deterrent boats in Bristol, Liverpool, Ulster and Grimsby just to spread the nuclear love to all the best and nicest bits of the U.K.

Stc
Stc
1 year ago

Shame it’s a joke. A minimum nuclear deterent is a fools policy in its self. Especially now Russia conventional threat is in tatters. It will increasingly look to nukes for defence and potentially to attack us. The UK will be top of their target list. No doubt. We should either get rid of nukes all together or if we want to stay in the club we need everything from tactical nukes to being able to completely guarantee the destruction of Western Russia. Nothing else I am afraid will deter the hawks in the Kremlin. Our politicians do not get defence… Read more »

Terence Patrick Hewett
Terence Patrick Hewett
1 year ago
Reply to  Stc

Nah – CANZUK rules OK.

Jonathan
Jonathan
1 year ago
Reply to  Stc

Hi STC The U.K. nuclear deterrent is fine as it is, a single boat is able to hold every Russian city of over a million souls at risk, so a single boat response would probably kill around 30 million Russians and end Russia as a meaningful nation. In all likelihood the U.K. could get a second boat to sea as well. But that’s not all the U.K. deterrent is actually a geopolitical End of the world trigger. Why is that, well it keeps the USA honest, because if the U.K. launches its strategic deterrent then both Russia and the US… Read more »

David Steeper
David Steeper
1 year ago
Reply to  Stc

No we’re still waiting for you to see sense and rejoin us. Biden n Trump free zone just saying. 😀

Daddy Mack
Daddy Mack
1 year ago
Reply to  David Steeper

Imagine leaving a country due to Biden and Trump to come to a country led by Cameron or BJ?
Light brigade….. CHARGE!!!

David Steeper
David Steeper
1 year ago
Reply to  Daddy Mack

😂😂

Frank62
Frank62
1 year ago
Reply to  Stc

Haha-IF we nuked western Russia & even IF there was no retalation, Eastern Europe & probably western Europe & the near east would be irradiated from fall-out for centuries.

Coll
Coll
1 year ago

An old one but a funny one.

criss whicker
criss whicker
1 year ago

SNP to bring scotrail into public ownership.

another april foolsday perhaps ?

farouk
farouk
1 year ago

Video has emerged of the first kill of the starstreak missile on a Russian Mi 28 (Havoc) Helicopter, takes the tail right off

Tommo
Tommo
1 year ago

40 yrs ago today my god time has slipped through my fingers like Sand and we thought it was an April fools joke

Martin
Martin
1 year ago

Surely time to start moving missiles to England. I seem to remember Sean Connery talking about Polaris submarine pens in London in James Bond so we can maybe put them there.

River Rha
River Rha
1 year ago

If I’m not mistaken, It would seem to be My Understanding, that, Scottish Fire and Rescue services have their most modern Training Facilities in the Cambuslang area of South Lanarkshire Unitary Authority, Scotland Hopefully Not “on a Shooting at the First Opportunity but, Reviewing Consequences Later for Refinements “of How Many Minutes to Attend Shouts” for Response Times etc. With due apologies to my many friends, past and present, whom were/are Serving Fire Services Officers and Fire Persons in the service of the former Strathclyde Fire Brigade and, the, Nowadays, Scottish Fire and Rescue Services whom care for the Population… Read more »